Jokes Thread

[Fajner1]

Post any really good jokes you know here.

Unfunny jokes will be executed.

[Ikie]

Your Mom's a Joke

[cheezburgerman]

[Fajner1]

A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a handgun.
He shouts "This is a raid - everyone get on the floor!", and proceeds to empty the cash drawers.
As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his balaclava. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts "Did anybody else here see my face?".
The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also.
"Did anybody else see my face?" He shouts again, waving his gun around.
There is a silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner.
"I think my mother-in-law caught a glimpse..."

[Fajner1]

Stirlitz wakes up to find out he has been arrested. "Who got me? Which identity
should I use?" - he wonders. - "Let's see. If they wear black uniforms,
I'll say I'm Standartenführer Stirlitz. If they wear green
uniforms, I'm Plukovník Isayev". The door opens and a policeman in
a blue uniform comes in saying: "You really should ease up on the
vodka, Comrade Tikhonov!"

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